So we mentioned in our About Me page that our site is about post university struggles and trying to find your way. I know we haven’t posted a lot on that yet, but we did not want our blog to be filled with depressing and anxious thoughts all the time! We wanted it to be a mix of stuff we are very interested in, so that we can maybe use that to help guide us to find the thing we were meant to do. However we do post about the struggles we’re facing as well and how we try to cope with that. Today is one of those days!
This weekend I laid around the whole time not doing anything. Normally I’d be like yes this is the best, I finally get a chance to relax, but the reality of it is, is that it is super depressing. Saturday I didn’t even make it out of my pjs. So sad! The only reason why this is so sad to me is because I literally have nothing else to do. My shifts at work are scattered, I have one class I have to do to finish my degree so I am literally laying around doing nothing. This is the struggle I face. The job I work is kind of fun, but really only seems part time to me and not something I see myself doing my whole life. With school, I’m getting a degree that I cannot even use in Canada (although I love it with my whole being). Everyone around me is graduating with the typical jobs within our community- nursing, teaching, trades, engineering, etc, etc. And while those are all amazing jobs that I know I could do if I wanted to, none of them are for me. I’m too unique (AKA weird). But the struggle is, no one tells you what else is out there for jobs. There are a pile of jobs out there that I don’t even know about that may be my thing. This is the struggle/ anxiety. I want to find something ASAP, because I know when I find something I want to do, I’ll love it. However, getting there and finding something is so hard. My family wants me to make money and have benefits and go to school for nursing, teaching, etc because there’s a guaranteed job when you graduate. But I don’t want to do those things, I want a job I’ll love my whole life. Also, the jobs I’m looking at may require me to move. What if I have to move away from my family and everyone I know? More importantly, what about my dogs? Can I even move away from them, I feel like I would die!
Basically my anxiety comes from people pressuring me into making money or having a reliable Monday to Friday 9-5 job. Also, the inner battle of: is this what I want? Is this? Am I saying this to appease my family or myself? I’m so broke, I need a job that’ll pay me. Then am I doing this only for money? Will I ever love my job or find purpose? All of this clashes everyday, and everyday I just become more and more confused about where I fit in in this world.
So, I know I’m not alone in this, but here’s what I’m doing: I am travelling. Currently, I realize I will never find my way if I stay in one place, in my pjs, not doing anything. I am planning to travel to Europe, and I am planning on visiting family throughout Canada, experiencing their jobs and understanding how they found their way.
I helped start this blog to get out and experience things in my community that I didn’t know existed so that I can get out and try new things and find my way. The more I learn about my community and review things that I liked or disliked, then maybe I’ll begin to find my way.
So thanks for tagging along for the ride! If you have any suggestions, let us know! If you need advice or help ask away! Maybe we can chat it out and both learn from each other!