Anxiety

Hi Dear Readers,

One reason for starting this blog was to be able to express myself and to write about whatever I wanted to. I wanted to use this space as a place where I could come to heal when times are tough. I’ve always found writing to be healing. Throughout my experience on here, I have written different articles that have helped me accept different pieces of my past or present. I have found that I’ve completely stopped thinking about them because they are at peace now! So on here, I feel like it’s time that I talk about my anxiety that I have had for many years.

I don’t remember when it all began, because it’s been such a big part of my life for so long that it feels like I’ve had more anxious moments than non- anxious. What’s kept my head afloat for all of these years is that I have an amazing support system! And I mean amazing! I am VERY close with my family. I can call anyone of them at any time and they will listen and give me the god honest truth. My friend’s have also been supportive. My best friend and I talk openly about our mental health. It’s apart of our daily conversations it seems. It’s like we check in with each, especially after either one of us has an episode. Like “hey how are you feeling now?.” This is all very important to both of us, because it is non-judgemental, and we are free to talk about whatever we want. We each have moments where we just break down and contact each other for moral support. This happens anytime/ anywhere. The other day she messaged me about how it was extremely important that she talk to face-to- face about something making her anxious. The time before that I had a panic attack and needed help. The point is, is that I have a good support group where I feel like I can talk about anything and no one will judge me. I’m not uncomfortable saying what I’m anxious about to anyone in my support system- I just know it’s something that has to be done. I also write. All the time. I have kept journals for years, and in every single one, I have talked for pages and pages about what’s making me anxious, sad, unhappy, whatever. I re-read them too. This way I can see what is it that is making me anxious, and then when I can target it, I write out my plan of attack. Like ok here’s a list of things I’m going to do to make this situation better. But most times it just feels good to write it all out. It’s checking in with yourself and the motion of actually writing versus typing or talking is soothing.

What do I get anxious about? It can literally be about anything. Here’s some of my day-to-day stuff:

  1. Time- I think a lot of people struggle with this. I sometimes feel like I struggle with all forms of time. Sometimes, I’m worried I’m going to late to work, so I start chewing my nails, fidgeting, yelling at traffic, speeding, etc. Sometimes it’s about age. Things like “ Oh my god I’m this old now and look where I’m at, I have no idea what I want, I work a crappy minimum wage job, when will my life start, am I getting to old for certain things, time is going by too fast, I’ll never be able to accomplish everything I had intended too, time is going fast and my dogs are getting older to fast which is worrying (this thought ALWAYS makes me cry), what if I die too soon? My parents and siblings are getting older. See? Time is worrying and scary and sometimes the anxiety I get worrying about it is crippling and other times I feel like I can push it away, distract myself.

2- Social Anxiety while being more of an extrovert. Yup. You’re probably thinking um what? Here’s the deal. I love meeting knew people! I find that I actually hate being alone most of the time! I always have my dogs, my family, or friends around. I do need sometime to myself to think about me, but I really don’t crave it that much. I love to go out and hang with people. I love sitting in cafes, or anything like that if I’m working. I love sitting with people in the same room at home doing our own thing, but still enjoying being around each other. However, I have social anxiety a lot of the time as well. Like I said, I love meeting people, but when I do, I get all weird and quiet and I completely change myself. I get anxiety about them not liking me for me. Will they be ok with how I look? What I’m wearing? Why is my voice sound emotionless and quiet? Why can’t I look them in the eye? With Dudes: Are they going to secretly be a serial killer? What if I like them and then they hurt me? What if this is all for nothing? What if they don’t like how I look- no they probably don’t? Is this me flirting? HOW DO I EVEN FLIRT? What if we sex? Am I even good at that anymore? Like what if they hate it though with me? What if they just want sex? Are they out of my league? What if I am alone forever? How do I even meet normal people? Oh god why are they messaging me? What if it gets awkward on a date, what do I say? This is just some of the stuff I can think of. In a relationship with a guy: do they like me? Do they still like me? Do they still like me?! What if they hate me? What if I made them super angry? How do I fix this problem that isn’t actually there that I invented? It’s worse with guys, girls I can relate to and I know I’m awesome at friendship- although there are still those people you are like friendship wise you might be out of my league, like you wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with someone like me.

3- Irrational Fears- I have a lot of these VERY dumb fears that I shouldn’t even take time out of my day to stress over, but I do. Here’s an example, my parents went away last week so I watched the house. The whole time I was stressing about a break in and someone killing me. Every time my dogs went outside I locked the doors, but then I was like I would hate it more if they hurt them so I watched them out there the whole time, I locked the bathroom doors in case someone were to walk in while I was showering. I locked the door to my parents bedroom at night, so that I would be safe in there- just another lock for someone to get through if they broke in, any noise- I would mute and listen, I double and triple checked to make sure doors were locked. The list goes on for what I could be afraid of.

So, the last thing I wanted to talk about, because the post is SO long, is how I can tell when my anxiety is bad. Alright, so here’s what happens to me:

  1. I chew all of my nails off.
  2. I pull all of my hangnails off and pick at the skin until my fingers are bleeding.
  3. I’ve stopped writing.
  4. I anxiously cry a lot and may also hyperventilate
  5. My jaw is sore from grinding my teeth
  6. When was the last time I talked to someone again?
  7. I am fidgeting- I can’t focus on anything or I do in short spurts as in I’ll think about a lot of different things at once
  8. When you talk to me, I’m zoned out and not listening OR I’m talking to much about too many different topics
  9. I’m not really sleeping that well, and I’m hungry
  10. I’m irritated easily

All of these I don’t know I’m doing at the time, but when my fingers are sore and bleeding or my jaw hurts, it kicks in about what I’m doing and that I need to write or talk to someone asap.

I’m proud of how far I have come. I have tried different coping mechanisms over the years- some including self medication- and I have had some major downs. But it’s ok, because I learned the hard way and broke through to the other side! I’ve begun to learn how I can make my break through some of these fears and anxious moments. Sometimes you have to just act before you overthink. My gut is usually right, so I’ve been trusting that a lot more before I get the chance to overthink. Sometimes I can’t help the anxiety. So when I get to that point, other people or myself pick up on one or more of those 10 signs and talk it out to me or I talk it out/write it out. I also have some other things I do: yup I am a proud owner of a fidget cube- this helps me focus and also gives my hands something to do- especially if I am driving (I have a horrible habit of unlocking and locking my phone for no reason, or changing the radio station 30 million times even if I like the song playing), I get gel nails- these are unchewable! And also I’m less likely to pick the skin around my nails (sorry for the graphic details),I take a day or evening and relax using face masks and bath bombs, I instantly start writing, I usually message someone to talk or just meet someone to even hangout with- we don’t have to talk about my problem, but having someone there is what makes it easier for me. I have something soft on my bed. I used to sleep with a teddy bear for SO long and yes you guys can all judge and think it’s weird but having something soft was soothing. After it turned into soft blankets and now my dogs. People check it out! Texture was HUGE for me, and I realized that it helps me get to sleep to pet my dogs or have a nice fuzzy blanket. Sound is too. I have to listen to music and belt things out! Take the time to sing a song very off key!

Anyways, I really hope this page has helped you out in anyway! If you’re in a bad place, please seek help. You can get through this even if you feel like you can’t, and maybe those words aren’t comforting because you can’t control what’s happening to you, but that’s ok. I’m just speaking the truth to you and sometimes it’s nice to hear.

-Erin

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Phantom of the Opera

Hey my lovely Readers,

On this beautiful, and crazy hot Saturday night I wanted to talk a bit about theater! I have loved musicals for a very long time. I have been watching movies like Grease since I was born and raised on other musicals like Cats (have never seen it, but new all of the music at a young age). The first Opera I ever went to was Madame Butterfly, and although I was young, I felt that I was able to appreciate it as best as I could for someone my age. That same year I went to South Pacific and loved that even more. Throughout the years I have attended numerous musicals, operas, and plays and have always been reminded how much I love it every time I am there. Like the live music in my previous post, I knew I loved it, but I did not come to truly appreciate until recently. One of my best friends has a deep passion for theater as well, and she helped to remind me that it is a very big part of my life. It is now something I can call my thing. I used to feel like it could never be that way for me because I don’t sing and I suck at performing, but when I recently met with my cousin who is a prop builder, I realized it could be my thing too and that I could even make film my thing as well- something I had thought would NEVER happen to me.

This week was an emotional week for me. I don’t really know why, but I had doubts about the prop building which is normal for me. I was trying to decide what I should do again- should I have a backup plan? What would it be? And then I went to Phantom and it brought me back to the soul reason I am doing it. Don’t tell anyone, but I cried through the entire opera. I just could not help myself. The sets were that breathtaking. I could not get over it. The stage was amazing! The sets were on a machine that would move them to present different rooms. My favorite was when Phantom took Christine down to his lair. The stone steps and feel to the area was amazing. They got on a mechanical boat and the fog filled the stage to make it appear mystical. Then Phantom’s lair opened in the middle and revealed this amazingly designed room with unique and creepy furniture. The scenes were painted so well and looked so realistic.

Besides that the story was awesome as well. The actors and actresses were incredible, the lead girl, Christine is from Alberta actually! The phantom was amazing (apparently there are two other actors performing as him as well- if anyone wants to pay me to go see the other ones to write a review about all three, I would be happy to do this , include a ticket for my best friend as well too please :P). Composers, light technicians, set designer, prop builders, prop buyers, volunteers, anyone else involved- I absolutely loved this! Thanks for reminding me why the theater is so amazing.

It truly is amazing to be apart of something so amazing. Science is pretty cool and interesting giving us so many inventions, healing abilities, etc; but art gives you emotion and should be given a lot of credit. Art is responsible for making you feel, relating to your emotions. It’s so much more.

-Erin

Online Shopping

Hi everyone,

I have been MIA from the blog this weekend because I have been SO busy. Over the past few days I have had multiple social events that just seem to zap all my energy and by the evening I just crash into bed.

ANYWAYS, that’s not what we are here to talk about I am here to talk about my current obsessions and that is online shopping.

I recently got a new job and I have been deciding to “treat myself” to a few items in celebration. Well let me tell you the list is longer than my past online shopping “excursions”.

Item 1.

Facebook is both a friend and a foe in that it suggests all of these cool items I want. A couple weeks ago it suggested these eco friendly bracelets by the company 4Ocean, the company makes the bracelets out of recycled plastic and each bracelet you buy facilitates removing a pound of trash from the ocean! I bought the special limited edition Shark Conservation bracelet (10% of the profits go to help shark conservation efforts), and I can’t wait till it comes in the mail!

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Find it here: https://4ocean.com/collections/our-bracelets/products/shark-awareness-bracelet

Item 2.

New job new me right? That is also my mindset in that I have been buying a SHIT TON of active wear recently, and buying them online was no exception. Cue these amazing looking red leggings from Gym Shark. I have heard great things both online and from my coworker and all together with shipping they only cost me $75 Canadian! I have dreams of going to many a hot yoga class with these on.

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Find them here: https://www.gymshark.com/collections/bottoms/products/gymshark-high-waisted-seamless-legging-beet-marl

Item 3.

Finally, last but not least are items to benefit my inside health. I love the brand Organic Burst for super foods, and I recently bought a bundle of their Spirulina powder, Maca powder, and Baobab powder. I have had their Spirulina tablets before and I noticed a HUGE difference in my energy levels when I took them (they are also a complete protein and contain lots of iron – not bad for vegans/vegetarians!). I am currently using their Chlorella tablets that I take at night because I find it gives my body the detox it needs and I wake up feeling completely de-bloated! Chlorella is suppose to detox the heavy metals from your body (which comes from grey city living!) and improve your hair and skin. I found that taking half a serving and working your way up to a full serving was the best thing to do!

Anyways! Maca is great for natural energy and Baobab is great at boosting your immune system! The company is chocked full of natural recipes and ethical trading and sourcing. I bought the “energy” bundle which gave me all three of these powders at 10% off!

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Find it here: https://www.organicburst.com/pages/energy-bundle

That’s all for now! Let me know if you have any online shopping hubs you recommend!

Talk soon

Kathleen

Resumes

Hey Dear Readers,

I have been looking at people’s resumes for a few days now and I feel like I should give some tips on what makes a good resume! Resume’s are very hard because people are always looking for specific things, and those things are all very different depending on what job you are applying for. However, I think there are a few things that everyone can agree on as a template for your resume. So here are some tips and tricks for doing a good job on your resume.

Lets get started. First off, you want your name in bold on the left or right hand side of the page, then below your address, city, and postal code, and below that your phone number. The last line in that paragraph will be your email. If you have a degree you put the comma after your name and your degree abbreviations. For example, mine would be Erin Christy, B. A. – but with my last name instead of my middle name lol.

After that you have your name written at the top, go down a line and write the word Objective in bold with a colon. Underneath write what your objective is. So the point of the objective is to say what you are searching for when it comes to a job. In most cases I always feel like saying I just want to get paid, but really you need to target something particular about that job you are applying for. For instance, when I applied for a hospital position mine was “To obtain a position as a health care worker.” Make sure you sound professional and definitely use point form for your whole resume. As a manager, I skimmed through the resume looking for certain things for my pre- screening of resumes. I would come back later after I found the qualifications I was looking for and read the resume better. If you want to build on that idea then do that in your cover letter. That is really what it is for, to make you stand out even more. Your objective should change depending on the job you are looking for.

After the objectives I like to make another title and write in a summary. So again I bold the word Summary and follow it up with a colon. Underneath I list off my qualifications for that job. Some of the stuff I write is that I have a drivers license (also put what kind), I have a degree, I perform well under pressure, etc. Anything you really want to stand out that you know they are looking for, for that job you are applying for. For the hospital, being able to work under pressure, and prioritize tasks is important so that is what I would write. When I apply for jobs in the disability sector, I write that I am more of a caring person with patience, and put more of my skill set and experience for that under the summary. List it in point form again.

The next step is the grueling part and that is listing off your experience. Again, bold the word experience follow it up with another colon. Underneath put your most recent job!! Lots of people do not do this because they think it’s too different from the job they have now or something. It doesn’t matter, please put this anyways. So underneath underline the title of your position at that job and the place you work at. Underneath write the dates you started and ended. If it’s current, just say current. You want to say what you did at each job. This is the part people get carried away. Do not go over 10 points. Pick out the points you think are stronger than the others. For instance, as a waitress I would write: can work well under pressure, can prioritize tasks, trusted with money. Then I would put specific things I had to do like seating arrangements, greeted and catered to customers, worked as a team when it was busy. Make it sound more professional than that LOL. Make sure to include any certificates and promotions you got at that job (CPR, anything like that).

Here’s some points for overall experience: your resume should have flow! If you have worked numerous jobs, put the jobs that are similar to the one you are applying for. Do not put all of them. For instance, I would put waitress, caregiver, daycare and my three jobs that apply with the caregiver, because they look like I have been building off one another, so my chapters experience is left out. I would use these whenever I would apply to a job in the health field. Also, no matter what it is, use your job that you have been at the longest. For mine, I was a waitress at a restaurant for 7 years, so I ALWAYS leave waitress on there (I started as a dishwasher in high school and worked my way up). Another tip: if you’ve worked the same job at a few places DO NOT write the same experience as the previous job. Spread everything out between the two. You’re just repeating yourself and that is not good. Write something you learned from the previous job, make each unique. What I mean by this is if I was a waitress, and had moved to another restaurant so I had two different places of experience, I would either combine the two and say “Waitress at Boston Pizza and at Moxies” and list all of the points together or I would make them separate but not put the same 10 points down. I would most likely make them separate to give your resume depth and then put different points for each. DO NOT repeat yourself. We get the point. Also, it looks like you’re using a template if you do that and it’s not coming from you. That reminds me, make sure everything is in your own words! I want you to tell me, not a template!

For the rest of your resume, you can list off any volunteering and your education. Volunteering ALWAYS looks good so just briefly say what you volunteered for, when and one point explaining what you did. When it comes to education, this is a must. List off your high school diploma, when you got it, and if you are currently in university say where and what for. If you are done, write out your degree.

End your resume with references available on request! You don’t want your references numbers out and about for anyone to see, so just have them ready and typed for your interview and this way you can contact them and let them know people will be calling them!

Last thing I wanted to say is that your resume SHOULD NOT be longer than two pages. I had an individual send me a resume that was 10 pages long, and I could not get through all of it. Make sure it’s two pages and then talk about yourself more and emphasize the things you want emphasized in your cover letter. Limit what you are using for jobs, and limit your experience points. This all helps. Also, make sure to use 12- 14 point, black font and a normal font style- I use times roman numeral or ariel. Do not get too crazy. You might like how it looks, but someone else might not like it. I always find plain is best, but if you want to make it a bit fancier (depending on what you apply for, some places will LOVE it) just don’t go over the top. Make sure you know what you are applying for and personalize it a bit depending on the job- a new objective, changing your experience. I also find it helps to update it lots even if you are not looking for a job. It’s always nice to have a fresh resume ready to go for when you need it!

Here’s a template if it helps! Resume

Good Luck Job Hunting! I know you’ll get it!

-Erin

 

 

 

A Fresh (Faced) Start

Hey Everyone!

We’re back! I hope you love the new layout of our blog, fresh faced and inspired to bring you guys some new amazing content! Speaking of fresh faced, I’d love to talk about something that a lot of people struggle with – skin.

Now (thankfully) I’ve never had bad problems with my skin, just the odd pimple here and there (and dryness), but recently I have been breaking out left right and center and the texture of my skin has been very very off.

Personally I think your skin appearance has a lot to do with what you put into your body. I know of quite a few people who have had acne related to dairy products, and once they cut out dairy they have the best skin of their lives!

I don’t feel like my nutrition has been terrible these past few weeks, but if I look back on it I have been eating a lot of sugar (I ate two Kougin Amanns back to back), and my fitness routine has been low to non-existent.

That explains the breakouts, but the dryness is something that I have only ever had to deal with in the winter and now I’m finding that my skin is SUPER flaky and rough. I have an amazing chemical exfoliant from The Face Shop that uses green apple. It is completely smooth when you apply it, but the enzymes attack your skin as you rub it in and it eventually balls up all the dead skin. It is the most satisfying thing ever to see your dead skin just rubbed away, HOWEVER that is the danger with it! When your face is constantly dry and flaky it is easy to reach for the exfoliator and just get rid of it all but that is BAD. Do not over exfoliate your skin or you will just get more dry and over sensitive skin!

Here’s hoping I haven’t been doing that (I try to only using it MAX 2 times a week, I aim for 1).

This weekend I have been trying to drink lots of water, cooking with lots of turmeric, and I’m taking chlorella (which I used to take and then my nutrition plan just went out the window). I am also aiming to exercise four times this week, and clean all my makeup brushes (and quite possibly throw out) my beauty blender. I’m also going to try to stop drinking alcohol which I find hard since it is such a social thing (blog post on this later). I’m tired of having dull skin! Here’s to a fresh faced blog and blogger!

Got any skin remedies I should try? Leave them in a comment below!

Kathleen

To Legit to Quit

Hi dear readers!

As you have probably seen this week, neither Kathleen or I posted at all. Well, here is why! I have been having the WORST time with work. I know you guys know, because I wrote about it in my last three posts! I do promise that this is the last one work related for a while, because I finally quit! I’ve only been there for four months and I quit. I had talked to multiple people, and they all said that I had grounds to quit and I wasn’t losing my mind.

But here’s the thing. I hadn’t quit sooner because I wanted the money, and I also felt guilty. I thought I hadn’t been there long enough, I kept thinking well just try harder. then I thought you can’t let your staff down or anyone else related to the job. These thoughts just circled around me for so long that I finally lost it! So much pressure, stress, disciple, etc had built up over the course of a month, that I just lose my mind! My poor, poor parents. The first day I started to lose it, I cried out of frustration. The second day, I got another work message (it’s so hard to have days off with this job) that was negative and I just LOST it. I mean scary lost it. I just started crying and my mom had to drive me around. I went back in the house to get something choking and crying and my dad came running out asking me what was wrong, and I was hyperventilating sooooo badly that I just started to choke cry and couldn’t even tell him. I tried to take breaths and in between I just cried and told him while also choking still. I walked back to my mom’s car and sat down and tried to tell her I was panicking and she finally just understood and did some breathing with me. It was so hard to stop. I was panicking so bad and I felt like it would never end.

In a short three days, I realized that it wasn’t worth it. The money, the experience I wanted- it’s just not worth it. And this is what I wanted to tell you guys today. If you are unhappy in a job, move on. Don’t try to stay for whatever reason. This is the shortest job I have ever done. I’m the kind of person who did the same job for 7 years. Currently, the other 3 jobs I had, I have had for 3 years each. I know I had a lot on my plate, but that wasn’t only it. This job was hard, and horrible. And when you are treated horribly, it takes a toll on you.

After, I quit, people began begging me to stay. And I felt HORRIBLE. I was finally convinced to take a day and reconsider. I kept tossing it around in my head. Maybe I should try harder, maybe I should stay, you can get through this if you want. But you know what? You don’t have to deal with that. Don’t let anyone treat you like crap, or belittle you. And do not feel guilty. YOU come first! ALWAYS. You know what’s right for you. So don’t feel guilty and don’t feel like you owe it to anyone to stay there for a long time. I felt guilty for them spending time on training me and then quitting after, but guess what! It’s actually more of an advantage if you do it sooner than later! Then they can quickly jump onto the next person, and you can move on with your life. It doesn’t affect them as much as you think.

Get out of a position that is making you feel horrible. In the end, you will feel a million times better. I know I will on the day of my last shift.

-Erin

A Day Off

Hey Lovely Readers!

I hope you guys had an awesome weekend! I know I did! Especially since I celebrated Canada’s 150th birthday! Happy Birthday Canada!

For my post today, I just wanted to talk a bit about my day off! I haven’t had a dayoff in 16 days…. I know it’s terrible! BUT now I’m feeling way better. I do want to emphasize how important it is to have your weekends off. And I mean completely off. Do not take your work home with you. Leave it there. If you feel like you need to get caught up, I usually give myself a max of 3 hours to work on work or homework, then take the rest of the day off. I normally do this, but the last couple weeks I forgot to do this and give myself time. When I do, do work or homework during this time period, I try to remove myself from my home situation. This way I can fully concentrate and either have some good food, coffee, or just sit at the library working.

Anyways, my day off was amazing. I watched Harry Potter…. again! I did some drawing. I Sorry to all my friends and family, but when my phone died, I took that as an opportunity to leave it plugged in, in my room and sat ignoring it. I had gotten so many crazy emails and texts from work that I decided that I was better without looking at it at all. I also am CRAZY breaking out right now, because I haven’t been doing my full beauty routine, SO I took this time to do a facemask and paint my nails- really relax. I just felt so refreshed and recharged! This allowed me to think deeply about a lot of things and write out my problems. I had free time to myself to feel better and so the next day I could come up with tasks to tackle the problems of the next week. This is super important to do! I cannot stress enough that your mental health is important!

For all you over- workers and school procrastinators- I do not recommend trying to do everything at once. I do this all the time! I do a two week stressful stint, and by the end I felt disgusting from using too much dry shampoo, sick because I spent my whole time worrying and stressed, tired because I hadn’t had proper sleep, and bloated because my diet suffered as well. When you are over- stressed, your body takes a toll to. Remember that. Your work, ideas, and even how you react to things are so much different and more clear when you’ve slept, and eaten properly. I also suffer from some bad anxiety, when I get over- worked, so I recommend making lists. I may make 3 different lists, but it keeps me calm and allows me to have a plan of attack. I feel better when I write it down and remember versus just having anxious and an overfilled brain full of things I need to do.

I hope this helps you! If you need too, copy my day off! Put in a good movie, do a facemask and put your feet up! You deserve it!

-Erin

 

Grad 2017

Hey Lovely Babes!

Well it is official! I have graduated my bachelor of arts with a major in archaeology and a minor in psychology!

Today, I just wanted to say some words about my graduating before signing off for the night. Also, I did not go to my grad because I didn’t know a ton of people! I loved celebrating with my family. I accomplished something amazing, but I would never have gotten there if they hadn’t helped me through it emotionally and sometimes financially. They’re the reasons for all of my accomplishments! The next degree I do, I will go to the grad. I just thought this time I would celebrate at home ❤️ 

University was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and a lot of people do not get it. When I started university, I did not get accepted into my program of choice, so I went to another university to take a few courses there before transferring over. I did a year there and decided wow I dislike this program so much, why am I trying to get into it (teaching)? The next thing I did was attempt to transfer into nursing. I just would jump from program to program trying to find where I fit in. The truth is, is that I was not doing great in my courses. I was doing ok, but not good enough to get into an extremely competitive program. I was devastated every rejection letter I got. But if I’m being completely honest, I was not trying hard enough. I was so lost and did not know what direction to go so I was latching onto anything that sounded remotely interesting.

Two things began to happen in my second last year. One, I began working at the hospital and second, I got accepted into a program for archaeology in Italy. When I began to work some of these jobs- whether it was a real job or job shadowing- I began to realize that they weren’t for me. It wasn’t until I went to a counsellor who told me to focus on the degree I was in now, that I began to really take it seriously. I learned which courses I loved and which ones I really hated. This all helped to develop who I am. I went to Italy, and fell in love with that profession and really began to work towards it for the first time.

As much as I complained about the whole degree, I secretly enjoyed being that crazy overwhelmed and I loved every anthropology course that was thrown my way. I built up relationships with professors in related fields and I began to go to classes more, because I began to enjoy learning. I love my degree. I can go across seas and use it wherever I want and get paid to visit anywhere (anthropology major).

Currently, I am taking a year off of school. As much as I enjoyed it at the end, I really want to figure out who I am and where I fit in the world. I also need a break. I have been going to school since I started kindergarten with no break! That is way too long. I need to know what life is like without school, even if it is just for a year. After my gap year is done, I am going back to learn how to build props! I absolutely LOVED it when I was working with my cousin. I know now that even though I worked crazy long hours with her, I still enjoyed it. Now it seems dumb that I hadn’t thought to go that way! I love art, movies, and theatre- how could I not see this as an option?!

I’m excited for my year to start. I’ve got four trips lined up! Europe, Mexico, and as many trips to the mountains as possible. What I am trying to say to you, is that do not feel disappointed if you’re rejected. Do not get upset if something does not work out. Take a step back and re- evaluate. Maybe something that you thought you loved isn’t what you’re meant to do! Maybe there’s better plans for you! And if it’s something you feel very passionate about then do everything you can to achieve it. But if it is not working for you, then it’s not meant to be. Explore your options. If you’re feeling anxious or confused know that something will work out for you in the end!

To my parents- thank you for absolutely everything. You’re the reason I made it out, and found something new. When I went to Vancouver, they paid for my whole trip to job shadow my cousin to see if it was something I wanted to do. I really needed that, so thank you. Emotionally and financially, they got me through.

Anyways, that was all I wanted to say! Congratulations to any class of 2017! Good luck in your future endeavours!

– Erin

Send Help, and Chocolate

Hello Everyone, Happy Monday!

Motivation, wow something that has not been coming easy to me these past few weeks, I feel like all I want to do is sleep 24/7. When I am asleep and I set an alarm to get up 9/10 I just hit snooze and sleep through it! Where has my lack of motivation come from? Since coming back from vacation I’ve really been struggling with motivation. I found that since being back my job seems extra mundane, I can’t seem to shake off the boredom and I am not inspired to workout or cook (and I seriously love to cook).

This time last year I was on an amazing road trip adventure, and was planning Italy, and this year I feel like the summer is just stretching ahead of me into a space of working at a Café. Sigh. I think that’s part of my problem, I don’t have anything exciting to look forward to and since I’m not particularly happy with my position in life, so I don’t feel motivated to get moving.

I’ve been trying to apply for jobs, but I seriously have just not heard anything back. I keep checking my resume to see if my email or phone number are misspelled… it’s that bad guys. Therefore my motivation for actually writing out another 10-20 cover letters is zero. Send help, chocolate, and coffee.

Ok enough with the negativity! Just writing this post has brought my motivation level up a bit, I can do this, WE can do this, let’s all conquer Monday together and get through this!

Good Luck everyone!
Kathleen

Mondays

Hey Lovely Readers

Alright, we’ve all had those Monday blues. Today, it seems like the day is dragging on (it really feels like this, I’m waiting for the mechanics to be done with my car and they gave me an hour and a half time limit- it’s been years since they started- seriously). I also had some family struggles yesterday, so I’m feeling the blues thinking about that as well. I know I talk about the struggles of getting through a bad day a lot, but I feel like talking, so here’s me mumbling on about life.

This feels like the problems are never ending right now. I’m insanely broke with all my car and phone smashing problems, my family is feuding, I’m stressed about jobs all the time, this weekend feels like the first day off in forever, I’m tired so I’m dramatically making it feel worse than it really is. At times like this where it feels like the universe is bringing you down, we just need to take a step back and think about what we are grateful for. Today, I have my health, I have a couple good jobs that will bring my savings back up to where I had it- it will happen even if it takes me a long time to rebuild what I had to spend, I have two cute puppies ready to snuggle me, I have my family- who are all in good health regardless of the fighting, I’m officially graduating in a week, I have a beautiful and amazing life even though it’s hard to see sometimes. I’m extremely fortunate. Look I feel better already. Although I could use a nap or two.

On days like today it’s hard to stay positive and see the good- it’s mostly this aching feeling that they’re NEVER going to be done my car and I’m going to be stuck here forever trapped in this car dealership. We just all need to take a step back and look at our lives. What is good right now? What’s working? What’s not? Is there something I need to change so I can feel better? If you feel like you’re working too hard, take an extra day off. It’s important to look after your mental health and maybe you need a break from the day- to- day. Go to a spa!! I want to go to a spa. I have a gift card to one, I’m doing it! But really, think about taking that day off! I have a day off today, and I have mega plans- if I ever get out of here- it’s been two hours!

Today, I’m going to do the hair mask my cousin gave me to use, and use some of her Rodan + Fields samples for those red bumps you get on your arms- I’m excited to have those disappear FOREVER! Then I’m going to actually take some pictures for the last post, and THEN I’m going to sit with my sister and watch Disney movies and sing at the top of my lungs! Or you know be a normal adult and just watch movies. More likely option A. After that, I’m going to Beercade (an arcade bar) to hang out with a friend (more on this arcade bar later). I am taking the day off! It’s going to be a good day, and I’m going to feel more positive and enthused after! You should take the day off too if you’re feeling how I’m feeling.

Some Monday’s, we just have to wear our Bill Murray sweatshirts and drink out of your “Calm the Fuck Down” mug.

– Erin